WOW and really?!?!

I had told myself that I was going to do more blogging. Not that the world needs one more blogger, but I needed to write more. The blogs are not as frequent as I had anticipated because I have had an INSANE year so far and we are only in April.

January=Surgery and long recovery
February=Hospitalized child, EG identification
(not to mention new job for my husband and insurance changes)
March=Dr, Dr, Dr, Dr and figuring out EG
April=An old/new family member
(not to mention pastor leaving and church in upheaval)

R     E     E     L     I     N     G

If I had to do this by myself I would be in fetal position on the floor yelling "uncle".

I don't have to do this by myself.

I have Christ. 

Oh yeah--I am one of THOSE people.  I recently debated/argued over saying "My God" vs. "The God". I say my God because He is just that--mine. I have a personal relationship with Him that is---just me and Him. Just like I would say he is my dad--he is mine but he is also the dad of my brother and my sister, nonetheless he is mine. God is my God, he is also the God of everyone else but he is, nonetheless, mine. Saying my God does not exclude or negate the fact that he is the God of everyone else.

I struggle for and have sought after peace. Peace in my current situation but also peace in my past decisions as well as the everlasting effect of those decisions. Christ has given me peace. He has given this naturally shy, second guessing, insecure person a spirit of strength and conviction. I am transformed from my inherent self into a patient (mostly), peaceful, strong person. I stumble and make mistakes but my inner core is not shaken. There have been times when I have thought a meltdown was imminent but one breath at a time later I am still standing on my feet, head up, looking forward, trying my best to take care of my family, love my husband, love my neighbor and figure out what God wants me to do while I am here.